Spoilers ahead. For the love of Pete, there are spoilers ahead! Although if you like Sean Bean as much as I do, you already know what’s going to happen. A few days ago, a friend asked on twitter if anybody wanted to watch a Bean marathon, and several jokes popped into my head. This comic was one of them. The other was: If you watch all of Sean Bean’s movies, it becomes a really long Highlander sequel. If anybody can help me figure out a more succinct way to get this point across, I’ll make it into a t-shirt. For now, I stuck with the more punchy joke.
Bean is one of those actors who is versatile, but whose crinkly-faced smile and good looks often betray (or accentuate) even the creepiest of performances. As such, I often refer to him as the lovable scoundrel. I first saw him in Goldeneye—a movie where he died twice—and even at his most devlish, his character had time for a wry smile and a proper Bond-villain quip. Similarly in The Lord of the Rings he had his flaws, but redeemed himself. Patriot Games, Equilibrium, and The Field (where he is infamously killed by cows) follow suit. He’s easily the most likable unsavory character I know.
Most sources rack Sean Bean’s death count to 21 on-screen deaths. Though some include The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, where he lent his voice to Martin Septim. Of course, if one looks at the data, it turns out Sean Bean actually lives in movies more than he dies in them. The perception that he dies in every movie is a combination of good old confirmation bias, and the fact that the films where he dies often did better in the box office.
In an effort to keep the confirmation bias alive (ha ha) and to concisely get the point across, movie mash-up master Harry Hanrahan put together a Sean Bean Death Reel, which I have embedded below. It’s wonderful, violent, and contains no surprises. The poor scoundrel cannot catch a break. (NSFW)
This post was brought to you by Kate.
Nadir and I were in upstate New York this weekend, eating too much pizza and searching the bowels of dead elf assassins for loot—hence the movie comic. Hey, I managed to cram confirmation bias in there!
Ernst Haeckel comics will return on Friday.