If this very situation happens to you—as it did one unnamed friend of mine—I am sorry to report that none of these solutions will actually work.

Well, maybe the ear slap. But only through misdirection.

In fact, every solution falls apart based on the fact that sound moves way too fast for you to have any hope of intercepting the compression waves. Oh, also the human möbius strip thing. Sorry. Plus I do realize that in order to become a human klein jar, you’d have to eat your way into your stomach and all the way to your anus. But that’s just gross.

It’s fun to think about though. Plus, it’s not totally unrooted in scientific concepts. Active Noise Cancelling (or Active Noise Control) technology works upon the concept described here. Where you have your sound producing object (say a motor) and next to it, you have a speaker that produces a sound of the same amplitude, but opposite phase, which interferes with the first wave and effectively cancels the sound. Pretty neat stuff. The most effective uses of ANC are around repetitive, constant sounds, like the aforementioned motor. Random, modulating sounds are harder to predict and therefore harder to produce the antiphase wave needed to cancel the offending sound.

Tangentially, my girlfriend lives near a bar that plays music late into the night and while it isn’t blaring, it’s just quiet enough and just loud enough for one to get fixated on the occasional bass that comes through. To combat this, she bought one of those white noise machines (which is actually more like pink noise) to help her sleep. It’s just a thing that sits on the nightstand and blows air through holes to produce a low whooshing sound. I find it bizarre and annoying, but at the same time it doesn’t keep me up.

Apologies for the ninja comic on Sunday. I was out of town and unable to post one Monday. As such, I also volunteered to do today’s for Nadir. Despite the length of this one, I bemoan the fact that I don’t have as much time to color the comics. My dream is to have every comic turn out like this one or this one. I also enjoy the coloring on this one and this one. There’s a great joy in sitting back and looking at a well painted comic.

Early on, I decided to put consistency in release scheduling over consistency in artistic quality. Mostly because nobody will come back to a comic that they cannot ever predict when the next installment comes out. But I hope that once we get a lot more followers, we are able to relax a little and produce kick-ass comics every time, even if they aren’t quite on schedule. I’d love to know what you think.

That said, plug the hell out of us! Twitter, FB, Reddit, man we love that stuff. Somebody posted a link to Zombie Jayzus on a whole slew of Craigslist forums (Thanks NewMsLoree!) and while I’m sure they got banned for spamming. I’ll wag my finger just long enough for Craig to look away before giving out high fives. Also shout outs to our awesome Facebook fans. Many little hearts from me <3

Alright, thats enough of that. Watch what you say. I’d hate to hear that somebody I knew actually became a singularity.

This post was brought to you by Cerium (Ce).