Today I was made aware of a NASA announcement which whipped me into a frenzy not seen since I was five years old and it was Christmas Eve.  They dangled the possibility of microbial/methane-based life in front of me and I. COULDN’T. WAIT.

I bookmarked NASA TV and giggled uncontrollably, visions of little bacteria dancing around on Titan. Unsure what to do with this strange, mid-day excitement, I googled for more information and subsequently broke my own heart.

Crushing the hype like a gingerbread house, insiders held up their hands and said “W-w-w-wait. Don’t torch the car yet.” It seems the announcement is more likely going to be one closer to home. The discovery of life that metabolizes arsenic instead of phosphorous, most likely living in some deep volcanic hot spring in Yellowstone National Park. On Earth.

It makes sense. In NASA’s defense this is no small discovery. The brackets around the parameters used to define ‘life’ will be widened that much more by something like this.

But deep down, I hope they’re wrong. If you need me, I’ll be hiding downstairs, waiting for Santa, hoping they found farting germs on Mars.