no-homo

Ha HA… taxonomy humor!

I’m both ashamed and proud to have come up with this joke at the Hall of Human Origins at the American Museum of Natural History on a recent trip. Ashamed at such use of bro-loquiallism, but proud of the geekiness of it.

As for the title, perhaps it is too attention grabbing. Perhaps I might be trolling some poor  conservative type who will misconstrue this comic into an assumption that there were no gay people hundreds of thousands of years ago before the earth was created (by their math, not mine). Perhaps I’ll turn the tables in a bait-and-switch of SMBCfic proportions. I could only dream.

Speaking of human evolution, tomorrow is DARWIN DAY! Huzzah! Darwin Day is a holiday currently proposed by Representative Pete Stark (D-CA), the only openly atheist congressman. Let this holiday be our show of hand that secular America has a say, and call your local representatives in support of H. Res. 81.

GO IT YE TIGERS.

If the holiday becomes official, and thanks to its proximity to Valentine’s Day, I see lots of natural selection jokes in the future. My girlfriend’s eyes are rolling out of her head already. Quick! Help me think of one! Uh…

“Roses are red. Violets are blue. I feel the selective pressures, and the clear choice is you.”

Score!


Here are some sweet rhymes guaranteed to win over that special someone this Darwin Day:

 

“Roses are red, Violets are not. You aren’t much to look at, but your genes are quite hot!”

Or  how about:

“Roses are red, Violets are blue. We’re all random mutants, so choose me and make do.”

Not into it? Try this one:

“Violets are blue, Roses are red. I may be fast in bed, but your slow boyfriends are dead.

And then there’s the all time animal kingdom classic:

“Roses are red, Violets are blue. I’m gonna kill all your babies and then mate with you so you only bear my young… No flowers.”

She’ll be primordial soup in your hands in no time! You’re welcome buddy!

This post was brought to you by Molybdenum (Mo).