Well sheezy, he figured out a way to jam Ununseptium into a title. I almost thought I’d have to start a pool that would be collected upon successful use of one of those terribly-named elements.
I find it hilarious when Nadir talks about weight loss and eating healthy because the man was born with the natural ability to eat only cheese and still lose weight. His emaciated frame is the envy of all of us “normal” people who don’t metabolize food into alpha particles that just vanish somewhere in the gut.
It’s almost, too healthy. I’ve been to his new apartment and there are vultures that hang out, watching him from the trees outside. Poor suckers, they just don’t know.
On the subject of hand, the problem with every weight loss regimen is the instant results they claim. Getting fat is a slow, horrible process, and so is getting thin again. This is one for the Red Flags of Quackery comic, but if a weight loss program promises results at a rate greater than 2 pounds per week, stay the hell away. Every diet failure is the result of expecting instant results from no work or weird banana diets.
I have much expertise on this topic. Well, maybe in the sense that I’m a self-loathing glutton, and I too have tried a few tactics. But I realize that food does that to me. That’s what food does to all of us! We eat when we’re sad, we eat when we’re happy, we eat while we’re bored, and we eat when we’re out with friends because it just feels so damn good. Bane of my fat existence. Though I came to a realization some time ago that I overeat because I’m afraid of being still hungry after I finish. Which is crazy! Where did that come from? What set the precedent for that? I didn’t grow up starving.
But the realization has helped me tremendously, because now I stop myself when I reach for another food item I know I won’t be able to finish. That combined with healthier food options at my workplace cafeteria and eating more vegetables because my girlfriend is vegan is putting me on the path to a healthier me.
I should see results tomorrow.
This post was brought to you by Ununseptium (Uus).
*anyone into these charades will have an aneurysm just reading this. Such is the bizarre power of our food convictions. I identify strongly with meat eaters for example (high-five meat!) why? I’m not sure, probably tribalism and ‘us-them’ grouping. Deep down though, I just don’t care what you eat.
**anecdotal, but also see above.
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