The hurricane is already old news you say?
Well I only got my power back recently because of the stupidly named and even stupider Hurricane Irene, so I have a lot of pent up anger. And it’s gonna come out. This aggression will not stand… idly.
When I lost power I was forced to witness the degenerated state of the battery lives in all my portable media systems. It was like that scene in A Clockwork Orange where I wanted to look away, but couldn’t. Being reduced to candle light while your Nintendo DS batteries fail is harrowing! HARROWING!
During the week I had alternating thoughts depending on my mood. When I was super pissed I thought ‘Why are these stupid lines just hanging a few feet above the street where grabby needy attention-whore trees can just rip them down as soon as a little wind kicks up?!’ Watching these trees flail and fail during downgraded tropical winds was like watching a soccer player dive head over heels feigning injury whenever an adjacent player twitches. In other moments I would think ‘why are these things hanging in the air at all? Isn’t that dangerous? They should be underground. I remember seeing a video of a bear climbing, getting shocked and dying on one of these things. Why isn’t anyone thinking of the bears?!”
Turns out I was mistaken, that bear hadn’t died. And nobody is thinking of the bears because if a bear wants a jolt, it’s gonna find it regardless of where you stick the wires.
There are problems with putting lines underground anyway, which I had time to contemplate. It’s about 7 to 10 times more expensive* for firstsies. Secondly it would be much more difficult to repair or change. Have you ever seen roadside work finish quickly? More than all that however, it would require an incredible effort to switch out the existing infrastructure even if we found a more desirable system, and it wouldn’t be worth the added benefit. I couldn’t help but think that it was like a case of evolutionary heritage, wherein small incremental changes are the only possible way to move forward, even if that means extending a system that would be better off completely redesigned.
On extremely rare occasion** during my candle lit meditations, I thought that it was pretty awesome to begin with that I had current feeding into every wall orifice, waiting to be used at my leisure. It hasn’t even been a hundred years since we’ve had this luxury. And much like nearly*** all of my hypochondriacally imagined ailments, the condition of being powerless resolves itself when ignored long enough. And so it did. I didn’t climb any power lines, someone else did. That’s awesome. It gave me the sense that being alive during this tiny sliver of history, sandwiched tightly between centuries of slow impeded progress and ignorance, and what I can only imagine is imminent global catastrophe, isn’t all that bad (keep in mind this is the extremely positive, most likely drunk side of the emotional pendulum****).
This post was brought to you by Prometheum (Pm).
*I may or may not have made up those numbers. It’s true in spirit, but the numbers depend on the details.
**most likely induced by the all the absinthe (‘sundown-juice’) I was drinking to put me to sleep during the early nights.
***’cuz you never know.
****and we all know we’re more rational when depressed.