This isn’t an advice column but let me give the balding community some advice anyhow. Let it go, man.
It’s common knowledge that your problems stem from not a perfectly acceptable and badass clean bald head but horseshoes and comb-overs and receding hairlines. As always exceptions exist, Patrick Stewart wins at horseshoes and Young Bruce Willis had the best receding hairline in history (these titles are not up for debate).
Obviously I’m biased. Growing up I always found styling my hair to be a massive nuisance– and bed-head? Fuhgeddaboudit. When I finally decided to just shave my head and call it a day the Sun shone that much brighter and I’ll be damned if the air didn’t smell fresher also. But since we’re prone to want what we don’t have, cures for baldness have been sought after ever since the first young adult caveman was made fun of for his ‘less-than’ flowing locks. Archeological remains of mammoth-hair wigs have been discovered to this effect… Ok, I can’t back that up, but wigs can be traced as far back as the Egyptians (what can’t, amirite? When in doubt– the Egyptians did it first)
Wigs, toupees, creams, scams, shams and flim-flams aside Big-Science is continuing the search for a genuine cure for baldness, to which this creepy-come-handsome hairless-mouse can attest. Lady mice, hold on to something. Here he is in action.
Sure it would be great to see a genuine breakthrough in hair regeneration technology, but do I need to point out that tired old ‘it’ll be out in five to ten years’ bologna alarm, once again? Yes, yes I do. Because I keep seeing variations of it everywhere (at the end of the article above for ex.). But don’t worry, I hear researchers, scientists and doctors have caught on and will stop using wishspeak like this very soon.
Within five to ten years.
-
This post was brought to you by Mighty Mouse outrunning the competition! Because stamina is important! And also Praseodymium (Pr).
Comic note: Lab-Rats were the first animal to be domesticated purely for Scientific research starting back in 1828. But Lab-Mice are the most commonly used mammalian research model.