chronological-conundrums

As I was reading this article and the resulting mixture of anger and ‘internet-expertise’ on electric current, I couldn’t help but smile and hope this would get blown way out of proportion. I haven’t had a good apocalyptic scare since the rapture earlier this year, and since the 2012 apocalypse isn’t actually supposed to happen until the end of the year (bummer I know), we do need something to fill the void.

 

I also found it interesting that I couldn’t think of any pop-culture anthropomorphic clocks other than that one from Beauty and the Beast, which means either I haven’t been paying attention for the last 20 years, or that talking clocks are the last remaining late-80′s-early-90′s pseudo-nostalgia that hasn’t been milked with a revival. Is anyone actually going to watch the Smurfs live action movie? I suspect it will be as good as the Alvin and the Chipmunks flick. Full disclosure, I didn’t watch that one either, my doctor warned me against the orthodontal perils of extreme vomiting.

What raised my skeptic alarm about the article was this sentence:

“It’s not easy figuring what will run fast and what won’t. For example, VCRs or DVRs that get their time from cable systems or the Internet probably won’t be affected, but those with clocks tied to the electric current will be off a bit”

 

Did you catch it? VCR’s?! Are they writing these articles for people in the past? Or is the time crisis going to be so severe that we should prepare for disruptions in the space-time continuum? Also how much research could have possibly gone into an article that makes reference to a piece of yesteryear technology so defunct that it would put you at odds to even find?

If you’re not appropriately terrified of our imminent temporal disaster,  I’ll leave you with this awesome quote By Joe McClelland-The Head of Electric Reliability for the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission:

“Is anyone using the grid to keep track of time?” “Let’s see if anyone complains if we eliminate it.”



avatar-maki-leftI blame the lack of anthropomorphic clock characters in movies on the fact that these days common household clocks are indistinguishable from VCRs or toasters—both dead technology.

Not only that, but everybody just uses their cell phone as an alarm clock now, and there’d be nothing more boring than an iPhone Disney character. Though it’s so marketably insidious, I’m surprised we haven’t seen it yet. I did some snooping of my own, figuring that Toy Story must have had a clock or something, but even if it did, it’d hardly qualify as anthropomorphic since the toys tended to just move rather than grow faces and arms. That brings us back to the sad fact that our clocks just aren’t interesting enough to stir the imagination anymore. Even crappy MS Word clip art of features anachronistic alarm clocks complete with bells and feet. Clocks just don’t look like that anymore.

You may notice this everywhere, actually. Look at your phone or a program like Skype and notice the icons feature rotary phone receivers and 1950′s studio microphones because they’re recognizable, rather than relevant.

You could say that the clocks of this era (Puts on sunglasses) lost face…

YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA–

 

Oh what’s this? You scoff at my dead toaster claim? Oh I’m sorry, I guess you’re stuck in 2006 before the advent of CNC toasters and laser cutters. Maybe you ancient scoffers could benefit from some faster clocks. BAM.

 

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