The above happened to me at work long ago. I only wish I could have escaped so easily. There are unspoken rules regarding using a public restroom. Unspoken until they are broken anyway.
1. Don’t get in the stall right next to somebody else. Comfort zones are much larger when bathroom faculties are involved.
1a. If there are no available stalls in accordance to this rule, and prohibiting a dire bathroom emergency, come back at a later time. Try the “Fly By” maneuver. Go in and quickly scope out the stall situation. If there are no available stalls per Rule 1, wash your hands and leave, as if that was what you came in to do in the first place. If you’re really quick, you can merely swoop in and out as if you walked into the wrong room.
The Fly By is a safe and graceful way to “check in” without making the current occupants wonder if you’re peeking into stall gaps or counting shoes.
2. Don’t talk to anybody. Do not disturb the monk-like silence and contemplation that comes with letting your body do what it has to do. Also, any interjecting noises emanating from these monastic cells are unbefitting of civil conversation.
Also, c’mon, I’m trying to poop here. There are things falling out of me and you want to chit chat? Please stop.
This public service announcement was brought to you by Plutonium (PU).
Acknowledgements to Mqrius, Derpface, and Mephane.