Birds are falling out of the sky! Is it the apocalypse?
We can only hope, but birds are also pretty easily confused and animals massively drop dead all the time so the apocalypse is going to need other signs.
As Michio Kaku explains* poor eyesight, tight formation flying and disorientation of the lead bird is all that is needed for certain flocks to nosedive into the sidewalk. Add in thunderstorms, fireworks, varying weather conditions or air pockets and it’s not at all surprising to see this type of thing.
The North American Cedar Waxwing has been seen falling out of the sky in groups from time to time as well but in their case, it was found that they were flying under the influence. An overwhelming portion of their diet year round consists of fruit and berries which they overindulge in and store in their distensible esophagi. The berries can then ferment and produce ethanol, causing awkward social situations such as hitting on birds that are so out of their league, telling stories that no one asked to hear about, and flying straight into fences. This, to me, provides conclusive proof that an all natural diet can lead directly to social anxiety and death.
Which is why I had a large brownie for dinner. I feel pretty safe.
-
-
This post was brought to you by my runner-up anti drunk-flying slogans: ‘Ethanol in the esophagus puts you in a sarcophagus.’, “Don’t die, don’t fly high.’ and ‘Represent! Don’t ferment!’
-
*I can’t help but point out that Michio Kaku includes the suicidal-cliff-diving-lemming cliche here. Ignore that.